OK, A Do-Over It Is.

Alright alright alright! Apparently I can't start giving out A+s all over the place for mix tapes. You balked, I listened. So here we go, a true evaluation, NOT graded on a curve. I'll go through the songs 1 by 1 and then give an overall grade. Sorry, Everett.

Side A, IN CASE OF PEEL OUTS

1) Wagner - Ride of the Valkyries. All I have to say is it is such a pain in the ass to fast forward through this song. No one put it on another mix tape for me. This song belongs in a Ford Focus, maybe, but not a TA. Get with the program! F

2) Motley Crue - Girls Girls Girls. Great jam. Better than the 1st song on this side. Yes, it makes me want to do peel outs b/c it is Motley Crue, but since I AM a girl, I maybe would have chosen another. B+

3) Motley Crue - Kickstart My Heart. NOW we're talkin'. However, this violates the mixtape cardinal rule - No two songs from the same band should be in a row. Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I didn't make this $h!t up. Blame it on a bunch of middle schoolers with pimples and 12 sided die who have nothing better to do. A

4) Bang Camaro - Push Push Lady Lightning. Good choice. Not my favorite song, but appropriately rockin'. B+

5) Led Zeppelin - Rock And Roll. Love Zeppelin. A-

6) AC/DC - Big Balls. Why yes, I do have some. A

7) Bang Camaro - Swallow the Razor. Good. B

8) Motley Crue - Shout At the Devil. Totally TA. A

9) Slayer - Raining Blood. A- Ok, yell at me for giving Slayer an A-. I know some of you want to.

10) AC/DC - Thunderstruck. I love this song in this car. A

11) Bang Camaro - Out on the Streets Not the hugest Bang Camaro fan. C

12) Iron Maiden - Number of the Beast B+

13) AC/DC - Big Gun. B

The amount of good 80's hair metal, appropriate for burning out to, picked up where the other ones fell flat. Side A average: B

Side B, IN CASE OF ZOMBIES
1) Sum 41 - Intro To Destruction. OK, the song is alright, but since only people who shop at Hot Topic listen to sum 41, I'm going to give this song a C.

2) Gaslight Anthem - We're Getting a Divorce and You Can Keep the Diner. Not very zombierific, but I like Gaslight Anthem alright. B+

3) At The Drive In - Pattern Against the User. A+. I love this song and it makes me want to kick some zombie butt.

4) Coheed and Cambria - Ten Speed of God's Blood. These guys rock. A

5) Sum 41 - Grab the Devil by the horns and f*ck Him in the @ss. Wow!!! I feel dirty just typing that title. Not sure how I feel overall. I think I need a shower. B-

6) Rage Against the Machine - Killing In The Name Of. Great zombie killing song. A

7) Coheed and Cambria - Devil in Jersey City. A

8) Andrew WK - Party Hard. OK, I will! Ha! This song is super fun. A

9) Sum 41 - Ride the Chariot the the Devil. Wow, Sum 41, you guys should really see someone. Your song titles are starting to scare me! Do you title your songs so tough because your skinny jeans make you look like pussies? B-

10) Saves the Day - Collision B+ I love love love Saves The Day, but not quite for outrunning zombies. Maybe for making out or crying on top of my car in a parking lot, though.

11) Sum 41 - Pain for Pleasure. B

12) Rage Against the Machine - Sleep Now in the Fire A. No brainer.

13) At The Drive In - Enfilade A-

14) Andrew WK - Ready to Die B+. I like his other song better. He gets annoying after a while but good to kick some zombies in the faces with.

15) Coheed - Junesong Provision A-

16) At The Drive In - One Armed Scissor. One of my favorite songs for general @ss kicking. A+

Side B average: A-.

Happy now, people?

Zombie Survival, 101

Since I had a mix tape devoted almost entirely to battling the zombie apocalypse, I figured the best thing to do was to get my game face on and train! If I was going to out run a gimpy group of flesh eaters in my sweet whip, I needed to be prepared.

First thing I needed, was a zombie killing attack dog. CHECK.
Second thing I needed? To know how to shoot the crap outta some $hit!






Starting off with a "warm up", we decided to practice shooting at some zombie animals. I think I hit the boar maybe 1 out of 10 times. I got the raccoon in the rock once (no, that's not code for anything, I actually kept shooting the rock by accident), 0% for the deer (hey, it was REALLY far away), and I think I hit the target only because it ricocheted off of the wall. OK, maybe the bow is not my weapon of choice against the flesh eaters. Perhaps it is good ol' fashioned firearms!



Ah, yeah, no. Not really. See, it LOOKS like I did really well, shooting mostly in the ribcage. If those were my shots, and not the person before me, I would be totally awesome and badass. However, what you do not see is the gray boarder around the zombie assassin, which is covered in bullet holes. Yeah, those would be mine.

So, it looks like, if the zombie apocalypse should arrive, maybe I should just be the designated driver and someone else can shoot the flame thrower out the t-tops without scratching the paint. Now that I can do!

Soundtrack? A+, by the way.

Fashion week in Berlin = yet another week I won't be driving the TA

...but it sure is fun.

In case of Zombies, In Case of Peel outs!

I received a beautiful, fantastic mix tape on my door step the other day. Finally!!! Each side is perfectly designed for an appropriate night of either peel-outs or zombie battlin', depending on which side you're listening to.

Side A, the peel out soundtrack, features a sweet mix of heart thumpin' fist pumpers from AC/DC to Motley Crue to Iron Maiden. Side B, the zombie attack soundtrack, highlights zombie-themed psyche up tunes tunes by artists such as Coheed and Cambria, At the Drive In, and Rage Against the Machine.

The one-sided cover art features a picture of my car wearing over sized headphones, being chased by zombies. Very creative.

Let the adventures begin!

You can't drive a Trans Am when you're downhilling in Whistler.

Peel outs are not illegal.

This fine evening, on a mission for rum drinks with the t tops off, my hot friend Janet and I smack talked the alcoholics outside the Crystal Corner at the stop light and peeled out, all in front of the cop that I previously didn't see in the lane across the street.

Oh Crap.

Let me tell you, a 6.6L V8 can make quite an impression when you floor it from a dead stop in a 25 mph zone, but not as good as if I had some sweet mix tapes to play along with my devious actions! Come on people! Get it together and give me some cassettes! Peeling out in front of the cops would have been way, way cooler if one of you slackers had given me something with some heart, say Rage Against the Machine or NWA. Don't make me hold your hand all the way through this thing.

I need your help. Yes, you.

+






OK. Here's the deal.

I recently purchased a 1979 Trans Am with an Olds 403 and 40K original miles. Pretty much everything is still original, except for the tape player. Yes, the tape player, of all things. Someone actually upgraded to a Pioneer AM/FM radio and TAPE DECK. Let me reiterate this once more. My car is equipped with 200hp and a TAPE DECK.

Don't get me wrong, I have had a few adventures in this sweet whip already, but I intend to have more. A lot more, which I plan to chronicle on this very blog that you are currently reading.

And this, my friends, is where you come in.
I need mix tapes, people! I need sweet and savory, bad a$, well engineered mix tapes. I want creativity! I want cover art! Think of the ones you made for your 8th grade sweetheart that you poured your late night soul into while you were supposed to be doing your math homework. Think of all those comic books and magazines that you cut up and glued to the thick paper sleeve so all the track names could be written in style.

So, this is the plan: You send me your tapes! I will listen to them in the Trans Am and rate your efforts. If your tape rocks, the whole world will hear about it. If it sucks, sucks to be you, 'cause I will be sure to rip it into a million little pieces (in the most hilarious way, of course). Bonus points will be awarded for original/creative cover art, song flow, and song choice. I will also chronicle what I am doing when I am listening to your tape, where I am, and what kinds of sweet adventures your plastic reel to reel is taking me on.

This is a major challenge, I get that! That's what makes it so fun and exciting! So get to GoodWill! Borrow your little sister's Hello Kitty tape deck! Get going! Because the more tapes I get, the more adventures we can go on.

Besides, let's face it, chicks dig mix tapes in a major way. I should know, I am one. :)